the shy one's ... drama

... gr

Mon, 29 Nov 2004 03:11:04 GMT

wanna start over?.. wanna do the right thing.. wanting mind over soul.. the soul killing the heart..needing to find the reason.. in the way is something unreachable...speak, not touch.. touch and dont speak...wanting the comfort once gained and suddenly taken.. waiting for those expectations to be covered...wish to share..wanna be made just for you..want the attetion thats given to you.. wanting so much, getting so little.. missing all that i recieved.. wanting you makes me wish you wanted me

Fri, 22 Oct 2004 20:07:58 GMT

1. Choose 15 people from your friends list at random.
2. Write something about/to each of them.
3. Don't tell anyone who the statements are about.
4. Make your friends guess which number they are.

1. I gave you a new nickname and we saw a fireman movie together.. ghetto we both be with firefighters lol.
2. We're friends again which is awesome.. no more journal comment arguments for some people.
3. We hang out at your jobs all the time.. many hours and we are packed and everything for cabbage night.. our goal.. to be completely covered in shaving creme.
4. The first time i met you, you asked for a ride home and we found that we are only a couple of blocks away.. damn your first party had lots of scary people.. hey do u remember this... I <3 RED! lol
5. Ur name rhymes with nickel.. some people just dont understand.. dude we godda break 30...u run from an archer, ull just die tired.
6. Spent a whole two seasons constantly at your house lol awesome.. and now i still see ur mom like everyday... this COULD techinically go to two different people lol.
7. this person prob wont read this but ok.. my bestest friend ever.. even if we hardly talk.. u live too far and u should learn how to drive u and ur familys asses up here.
8. ur spic-y.. and the weekend at ur house with us stayin the living room was awesome.. trying to stay awake to watch underworld.
9. my husband... lol ur so awesome.. funniest with dancing to eminem outside of dunkin donuts with jeff screamin in the background.
10. ur my bird lol.. dude im still gonna cry that chris is leaving.
11. i remember i walked to blockbuster to meet u once and it took me soooo much longer then u and u said it would be the same time.. we chilled with two heathers and just drove around.. i had mega fun.
12. i stole an axe from outside ur store and it smells soooo good.. thanks for being there for me at the twin house lol.. we can help each other lol.
13. i met u first at mels house and we had to tie u to a bed with shoe laces lol u and soe other people drank some Jack D with popcorn in it lol.
14. i sooo thought i put this in here... we had so many great sleep overs but some of the greatest consisted of watching basketball 3 times a day and talking all night.

umm im not important and dont talk really to most of the other people on my friends list.. lol so yeah i jsut put shit for the people i can really remember.

Thu, 21 Oct 2004 20:56:46 GMT

Post a comment with a memory of me!!!!
It can be anything you want.
Then post this in your journal.
See what people remember about you.

Thu, 21 Oct 2004 02:24:07 GMT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISSA!!

ok so yeah today is mels birthday, she passed her test, congrats and we agreed on taking turns with the driving thing lol.. i wanna soooooooo badly this weekend, i dotn care how we get it as long as it is consumed by me at some point in time lol.

so yeah tonights lil feast was great, funny, amazing.. lol.. there was mel, gabby, steph, steve, shannon, david, steph, me, tatter, juz, billah, jenna, spic, mike, heather, keri and jackie...
the guy in the yankees suck shirt was funny as hell and so was everyone else.. it was seriously boston vs ny at our own table.. great... WHAT>> WHAT>> WHAT!!

skipping doing a lab report right now cause im sooo tired.. well now im gonna leave this boring journal entry and go watch cinderella story for the second time cause i think its cute lol and go to bed... goodnight and sweet dreams.

Shimmy Shimmy Quarter Turn

Mon, 18 Oct 2004 18:30:33 GMT

had a great FRIGGIN WEEK!.. sorta.. Caroline was up which was great.. tried to chill with her as much as i possibly have could... went to the city with juz and brian to go to a show... juz seriously we godda go to that club sometime.. amazing bathrooms lol.. then chilled..

friday.. chilled some more and stayed over Caroline temp. home and passed out during basketball.. shane came in the room in the middle of the night and layed on me.. mostly using my chest as a pillow saying " i cant sleep, i sleep here".. there was nothing i could do to move him seriously.. took up my whole lil section bed thing.. he was gone when i woke up though but it was cute none the less..

the next day said goodbye to caroline.. which was sad but i was late for work lol i would have cried but it didnt seem as bad as usual so really couldnt.. umm went to work then chilled with juz and mel and went to alil shindig.. cant spell.. with like greg johnhayes alex mel juz jeff danielle and other people.. it was fun.. yankees won 19-8... these awesome girls were screaming "just add a fucking 1.. 1918, 1918, 1918.".. quite humorous. had fun.. did a food stop with juz at pathmart.. lol got teddie grams yumm..

well today as far as i know is work.. then nothing.. then the sunday night ritual.. yeah..

i had a great week and didnt talk to jusitn for more then 15 minutes on one day... he left again friday and his birthday is today.. 21.. jackie says hes old.. but jackie is my stupid fuck so it doesnt matter what she says lol.." 2: stupid fuck <3 Slore"

well tomorrow will be fun cause me and juz = HALLOWEEN CLOTHES SHOPPING... we like that holiday way too much... my goal on mischeif night is to be fully covered in shaving cream.. i never did that before so i think its time for the childish games to begin..

BYE !!!

So tell me now, what do I have to do
To say things that will get through to you
I'll cross my fingers and I'll pray for you
To somehow see this side
Call me more convinced.
Say there's a way to cure this loneliness
With common sense
- HALI FUCKING FAX- lol yeah juz..pimpin the signitures.

Tue, 05 Oct 2004 18:23:00 GMT

1. Who are you?

2. Are we friends?

3. When and how did we meet?

4. Do you have a crush on me?

5. Would you kiss me?

6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.

7. Describe me in one word.

8. What was your first impression?

9. Do you still think that way about me now?

10. What reminds you of me?

11. If you could give me anything what would it be?

12. How well do you know me?

13. When's the last time you saw me?

14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?

15. Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?

Sun, 03 Oct 2004 02:50:56 GMT

A - Accent: Jersey accent.. people in texas make fun of it.
B - Breast size: 34DD from the curtisy of the Victoria Secret ppl lol
C - Chore you hate: DISHES
D - Dad's name: Dad
E - Essential make-up item: black eyeliner, chap stick, mascara
F - Favorite perfume scent: VANILLA and the lolita apple shaped thing
G - Gold or Silver: Silver
H - Hometown: Old Bridge, Nj
I - Insomnia: not really.. im too tired all the time
J - Job title: umm chez cheese person
K - Kids: debating
L - Living arrangements: umm my room thats all i worry about
M - Mom's birthplace: Brooklyn
N - Number of apples you've eaten: alot.. i love fruit
O - Overnight hospital stays: umm visiting mi madre
P - Phobia: dying in an elevator .. falling down escalator.. and fuckign CLOWNS
Q - Quote you like: why do i daydream
R - Religious affiliation: umm que?.. ima cashew
S - Siblings: um 2 half brothers.. never met
T - Time you wake up: umm 9 ish
U - Unnatural hair colors you've worn: blue pink green yellow
V - Vegetable you refuse to eat: any type of beans except string
W - Worst habit: biting my finger.. not the nails.. the finger
X - X-rays you've had:none
Y - Yummy food you make:mac and cheese bitch!
Z - Zodiac sign: Capricorn.. a gay lil half goat half fish.. what is that anyway

Tue, 28 Sep 2004 22:11:59 GMT

great.. again .. one of my moods.. its my fault.. decided to read some old convos.. just upseted me and made me realize how far away justin really is and how much it can really hurt.. i cant tell him that becuase he'll just be like dont let it get to you and so forth.. how am i supposed to not let this get to me.. i feel a certain disconnection from some of my friends.. its not like we're not friends or anything just not on the same level as we used to be..i just find myself crying about all of this and miss the comfort that i could get.. like he cant be here to help me or comfort me.. the only people i really like talking to about these things cant really hear it because i feel they shouldnt be vented to by me because they have their own lives and happiness.. i feel extreme stress and im looking for everything but rejection at this point and hopefully could find time to enjoy myself and others shortly.. i want my mood to end... weird enough to say the one person who i wanted back in my life some time ago.. is back.. but at this time i dont want them back.. i could care less if they call or not care less if they thought about me or not.. it really doesnt matter if i see them or talk to them ever again.. he changed, i changed, and im at a better place now without him around.. much better i honestly think i made some of the most stupidest mistakes ever with him.. but now im with someone else, they care and they dont leave me ..

another thing is that it is so frustrating to talk to justin and want to say all these things to him but be so afraid to do it. either because i dont know if hes preoccupied with friends or just not in the mood.. some thing that i want to tell him so badly cant be said unless to his face.. i cant say it over the fone, i cant even say it in the mail or whatever.. i dont know if ill ever be able to tell him.. have the courage and strength to just say it.. prob not becasue im not even sure anymore.. im scared of what will happen between us..

im going to prom with juz. im very very happy about that.. although it is my prom and it is something very precious to me i do wish that i could take someone i really care about.. (in the other way juz lol) and take those pix with and dance with and spend the weekend with.. i hope anyway that most of my friends can do the same and we can all be together for one of the last big events

god do i miss it.. i miss it all.. constant reminders of being cared for... i love the fall and hate it soo much... the cold is a depressent but always makes me feel better.. has the up and down effect on me day in and day out.. amin merna lle so so so much

Tue, 21 Sep 2004 00:33:26 GMT

i hate it that i changed and of course its for the worst and i hate it that i let these things get to me that really shouldnt.. forget over-reacting i take that to a new level and its really not the way i want to be.. i want to be happy for the time i get to share with my friends and share the happiness that most of them are recieving, i want to be happy again by just being me.. although i am jealous of some peoples happiness and even some of thier saddness and how some can be close with that person or people and i somehow stray away from it.. i want the kind of feeling i used to get with my friends.. that i used to treasure every moment i shared.. just chilling in keris room with too much smoke in my eyes.. running around bergenfield trying to stay warm when we are freezing together.. sleeping on a couch somewhere .. even being at troys house.. i miss the close-ness i used to have with some people but then again i dont.. i bet everyone is getting sick of the same drama coming and going or there being no drama .. i hate the person that i have become and it will have to stop.. i just dont want to care anymore.. this all may sound familar.. i dont know but something happened.. something i dont like .. doesnt have to deal with anyone but myself and the way i believe some people percieve me as.. i wanna be someone number 1 i guess.. lol meaning i wanna be the person that someone will come to first.. someone that i feel the same way about .. oh well if it doesnt happen ill be fine cause ya know what.. i godda do homework.. dammit.. lol

melissa.. u are soooooo right.. im copying your idea.. seriously.. maybe not the exact school.. or maybe so but i would be able to have my car too and yay that would make things easier.. unless i find somewhere that lets me have my car.. thanks though.. sorry if copying you is bad but its a great idea.

SHOWS BIOTCHEZZZ... lexi and juz.. the locators... du du duhaaaaa.. cant do the mission impossible theme lol

Thu, 16 Sep 2004 14:45:14 GMT

god do i love eddie izzard

The Scary Truth About Your Friends (eddie izzard style) by Mellifera
username
Wants a "cup of coffee"	tvirus768
Hides their makeup in a tree	apcjr
Vegetarian painter	sexiheather113
Was on the moon with Steve	ilovecodered69
Poked a badger with a spoon	uratowel11
Puts babies on spikes	babyangelgrl311
Can run about in heels and not fall over	sexiheather311
Under house arrest	echomachine
Carries a brick in their handbag	et3rn4lf00l
Never played Risk as a kid	spicador
Ich bin ein Berlinner	tatter_x_rules

Quiz created with MemeGen!

ich bin ein berlinner.. actually means you are a donut..

where were u.. i was dead at the time... no i was on the moon... with STEVE!

Original Sin

Which Eddie Izzard Quote Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Im bored.. survey thing

Wed, 15 Sep 2004 01:27:13 GMT

Thirteen random things you like:
01]- reading
02]- observing
03]- movies
04]- sex
05]- buying alot of clothes
06]- puter
07]- firecrothes
08]- swimming
09]- my friends
10]- ELLIOS
11]- apples with peanut butter
12]- music
13]- the 3 HHHs

Twelve movies that you like watching:
01]- Inherit the Wind
02]- LOTR trilogy
03]- Harry Potter movies
04]- Pirates of Carribean
05]- BASEketball
07]- Dogma
08]- Nightmare before Christmas
09]- Clerks
10]- 12 Angry Men
11]- Abbot and Costello movies.. ANYTHING OLD
12]- The Breakfast Club

Eleven good bands/artists:
01] Anger of the Lamb
02] Killswitch Engage
03] Lacuna Coil
04] Alice In Chains
05] CKY
06] A Perfect Circle
07] The Who
08] My Chemical Romance
09] Descendts
10] Pantera
11] Antrax

Ten things about you [physically]:
01] brown hair (finally(
02] ears pieced
03] weird ass front teeth
04] brown eye
05] medium/long hair
06] long nails
07] big tits.. damn had to be said
08] lots of frenckles
09] pale skin
10] 5'2... liscense says 5'3 so HA

Nine CLOSE friends:
01] Justin
02] Melissa
03] Juz
04] Steve
05] Keri
06] Tat
07] Caroline
08] Rob
09] Mel,Justy

Eight favorite foods/drinks:
01] mac and cheese
02] grilled cheese
03] Dr.Pepper
04] Coke
05] Cocoa Puffs
06] Life
07] FRUIT!!
08] ELLIOS

Seven things you wear daily:
01] my bracelets
02] earrings
03] a necklace
04] vanilla spray
05] bra
06] shirt
07] chap stick

Six things that annoy you:
01] cocky bastards lol
02] humidity
03] lol weird but people wearing my fav perfume
04] writing essays
05] not wearing at least one thing black
06] people.. some

Five things you touch everyday:
01] my hair
02] cell phone
03] keys
04] paper
05] clothes

Four shows you watch:
01] Most Extreme Elimination
02] Simpsons
03] Family Guy
04] ARTHUR

What happened to 3??

Two people on lj that you have kissed:
01] steve
02] melissa lol

One person you could spend the rest of your life with: wish i could answer that

Tue, 14 Sep 2004 01:16:07 GMT

This distance
This dissolution
I cling to memories while falling
Sleep brings release
And the hope of a new day
Waking the misery of being without you

Surrender, I give in
Another moment is another eternity

(Seek me) For comfort
(Call me) For solace
(I’ll be waiting) For the end of my broken heart
(Seek me) Completion
(Call me) I’ll be waiting
(I’ll be waiting) For the end of my broken heart

You know me
You know me all too well
My only desire to bridge our division

In sorrow I speak your name
And my voice mirrors
Mirrors my torment

(Seek me) For comfort
(Call me) For solace
(I’ll be waiting) For the end of my broken heart
(Seek me) Completion
(Call me) I’ll be waiting
(I’ll be waiting) For the end of my broken heart

Am I breathing?
My strength fails me
Your picture a bitter memory

For comfort
For solace

(Seek me) For comfort
(Call me) For solace
(I’ll be waiting) For the end of my broken heart

Back to schooooool AGAIN!

Mon, 13 Sep 2004 11:55:10 GMT

okay yeah so its morning time.. bored so im updating nothing big recently except i met doug lol i wanted to meet doug lol fun fun.. yeah the fireworks last night were nice but now i forgot which ones are my favorite cause im not sure if i saw them or not well yeah hanging out with the crew lately enjoying it and hating it at the same time.. to me its like theres something missing.. actually two things missing or should i say people .. two people that i care about alot yet havent talked to really in awhile, either no conversing or 10 minute conversation every other day. oh well mostly my fault but oh well what can you do. im working everyday this week so i could have the weekend off and im hopeing that justin will be coming up that weekend.. god i miss him..yeah i miss talking to him too but thats a different story... do i have enough courage and energy to call a friend when im sad or depressed or anything along those lines just to talk to someone... no i dont.. maybe if i was around someone at a time i could tlak to them but i cant just be home and talk to someone on the phone about how i feel and shit.. i cant do it and i wish i could, wish i knew that people cared and that if i called them they could help me.. well one thing i must say is that Stharaah's Voithce is going to start soon lol.. jsut need to find some members.. so far its me and juz.. anyone wanna join .. only way you can join thou is if you find it funny or humorous in some way stho HA.going to school now and like gonna TRY and learn and not to hurt the most idiotic algebra teacher ever.. and hopefully tyhis time i could actually eat something at lunch... <3 Lexi

my wonder wall has fallen and broken into millions upon millions of pieces..

oh TCBY rules.. thanks to josh and SEA BASS aka Sebastian lol

Thu, 09 Sep 2004 03:44:20 GMT

you are my wonderwall.

the playground was made of rubber

Tue, 07 Sep 2004 19:42:30 GMT

Do you miss him?

Terribly.

my personality shows that even if i seem miserable i may not be..few have seen and understood that.

.rob, i wish i didnt say anything..
.juz i do miss you, ppl have tried to do TREE, not right and we godda go rollin, you know im not just saying this because i've told u things that seriosuly only YOU know lol ...
.steve thanks, i hope you remember what for..

Thu, 02 Sep 2004 23:47:12 GMT

people are confusing but you godda love em anyway.. life right now is interesting.. havent talked to jay in a couple of days cause he had stuff to do in Yorktown or whatever.. alot of weapons and others are having their ups and downs.. saw heather again for the first time in a long time at ekris house the other night.. fun fun.. missed her lol. watched the hot goth dude movie and then he turned preppy..ewie.. lol then yeah.. it was fun with the exception of having to keep silence with someone.. i honestly dont mind the silence between us just its gonna be alil strange until i get used to it.. not sure if he is or anything but its just something to get used to because the things that i have said.. not said ..texted so far have not helped this at all.. justin told me to stand up and talk to him face to face but im scared to, not only to face a harsh truth but just that i have to talk to him..im scared what will come out of it and i dont believe i have anything new or not heard yet to say .. he said that i sound miserable or said when im around everyone cause i dont have the strength to talk to him.. david and mel told me that if i talked to him and like apoligized and shit that it woudlnt be as bad.. but what they dont understand is i did apoligize maybe not to his face and maybe thats what he wants but i dont know what he wants and ill never know so why even ask or something along those lines.. maybe this makes no sense but to try to win someone over with talking to them is not my greatest ability.. honestly its not even a trait i possess, i can hardly put into words what im thinking most of the time so how can i help something that i dont understand.. bottom line i cant.. i guess i never tried hard enough or long enough or thought about it with enough consideration and i bet it has been explained in many different ways and terms but i still dont know.. i cant beg for forgiveness and any of that because in my eyes i did do something wrong.. not intentional but it doesnt have to be intentional to hurt someone.. i didnt know what was going on with him , i only knew what i was thinking and feeling and it wasnt the same thing.. even if he ever reads this he wouldnt even take it into consideration because of stubburn ways that are strong enough to block out each others feeling or what thier trying to explain.. im not looking for him to response in anyway.. not looking for hatred comments or the best response in the world of his feeling or anything .. this is a journal none the less if its a public one.. i just wanted to say what i was feeling because i felt like it and wanted to write it out so i would have a release on something.. anyone could response is opinions or anything but i never told someone to i never was looking for "omg how could you say that" or "that is so not true".. its not whats true or a lie because these are MY feelings and MY opinion.. honestly if anyone disagrees go right ahead and write a response but its not going to change my thoughts and feelings or my opnion of you.. if my closest friend or something thinks that i shouldnt feel that way then its thier own opinion and wouldnt change the way i feel about them, i might think about what you say but most likely i wont care.. i wont and really dont care anymore.. i may be hearing the same thing over and over again but its not really sticking with me most of the time..

other then that things are decent.. i just want school to start sooo badly.. i want senior year to be over with and i want to be exempt from my exams.. lol a dream but it could happen.. and i want my feelings to be shown.. so yeah now im home after an interesting day going to change and talk to mi padre about things and yeah.. oh grreat i got work tomorrow from 12-7 instead of 2:30 -7 stupid grrrrz.... they call tonight... i bet chrissy couldnt make it or something.. oh well ill do.. it means more money which is always a good thing.. im honestly trying to save the money and everything but its not exactly working to plan but ill do it and then hopefully sometime shortly ill save like 120 and go down to virginia with tatter.. i miss her already and i miss justin.. its commmon to feel this way but looking at mike and heather and like juz and vlad hurt today knowing i dont know the next chance ill get to be with him and my friends or anything like that.. he might be coming up mid sept but i dont know anymore.. im not getting my hopes up again and i am getting a control on my outbreaks..i miss him but at the same time i understand so its hard to put pressure on someone like that..like i seriously almost got mad last week when he told me that he couldnt come cause they changed his duties... key word almost because that would be stupid to be pissed off cause he couldnt help it.. now that i think of it.. when he does come up here, i dont know for how long ill see him.. its not like im going to try to keep him all to myself the whole time.. hell no.. just he has to see his family and friends and honeslty i dont think i should be so high on that list who to see for the longest time becuase of how close he is to them and me.. i dont know.. trying not to think about it so much because thats just.. wrong lol.. and gonna go do the shit i said i was going to... shortly...still reading angels and demons... amazing book justdidnt get that far.. and i've been reading it for awhile..not much time or just lazy to pick it up..yeah during this school year its alil good that jsutin wont be here so much so i absolutely know that i have an attention span to last me finishing applications and homework for school, knowing that if he was here i would tryign to do all that stuff, but prob not to the best of my ability.. omg we godda send that shit out by late october and shit .. DAMMIT... godda go NOW..

Ps if anyone wants to help me with algebra 2 this year please let me know.. i got di bella and i heard he wasnt the greatest math teacher.. like mr. k .. doesnt really teach anything.. dammit i need help.

Dreams - Descendents
Why do I daydream?
Why do I get my hopes up at all?
I've been living this Walter Mitty life
For too long

Somebody save me
I'm a prisoner of my own fear
Sometimes fantasy is the only
Thought I can bear

My mind is a dream-filled balloon
Dripping dreams into my shoes
And I'm too afraid to move
To face the real world

And when I fall, I fall down hard
When will I ever learn?
Don’t take your dreams to heart
You’ll only wind up getting
Burned

Maybe I'm lazy
But circumstances always knock me down
So I'll just lie here, never get up
Off the ground

But maybe it’s crazy
To sit and think of all the things I wanna do
What’s the use in dreaming when dreams
Never come true?

And when I fall, I fall down hard
When will I ever learn?
Don’t take your dreams to heart
You’ll only wind up getting
Burned

Why do I daydream?
Why do I daydream?
Why do I bother?
Why?

Time to get up off your ass
Pull your head out – take a chance
Grab whatever you can grab
'Cause there’s no such thing…
No such thing

Wonderwall- Oasis <3
Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
About you now

Backbeat the word is on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I'm sure you've heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
about you now

And all the roads we have to walk are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
But I don't know how

Because maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
And after all
You're my wonderwall

Today was gonna be the day
But they'll never throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you're not to do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
About you now

And all the roads that lead you there were winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
But I don't know how

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
And after all
You're my wonderwall

I said maybe (I said maybe)
You're gonna be the one that saves me
And after all
You're my wonderwall <3

KEEP ROLLIN', ROLLIN' ROLLIN'.... is that an ice cream truck, yeah cause i feel like ice cream.. is it illegal to park behind you.. DnD bitches grr lol

Mon, 30 Aug 2004 02:20:57 GMT

an interesting saying lol

its nice to be important, but more important to be nice..

yeah whatever home.. gonna go to sleep soon cause i got like 7 hours of work tomorrow.. oh goody and then finding "my crew".. divorce in martins terms lol and yeah whatever.. missing caroline and justin alot.. they should join our social lives again.

Sat, 28 Aug 2004 20:26:34 GMT

why not..

1. What time do you get up? 10
2. If you could eat lunch with one person, who would it be? my mom.. why not
3. Gold or silver? silver
4. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Princess Diaries with Juz lol fun
5. What is your favorite TV show? anything that can make me laugh
6. What do you have for breakfast? cereal with a glass of milk
7. Who would you hate to be stuck in a room with? my dad
8. What/who inspires you? nothing really . inspiration for what?
9. What is your middle name? Lauren
10. Beach, City or Country? Beach
11. Favorite ice cream? Cookies and Cream
12. Butter, plain or salted popcorn? butter
13. Favorite color? Black.. really a shadei guess.. so purple for the technical people
14. What kind of car do you drive? Honda
15. Favorite sandwich? ummm Pb and J
16. What characteristics do you despise? cocky, self centered
17. Favorite flower? Roses
18. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? anywhere but here..
19. What color is your bathroom? i dont look that close
20. Favorite brand of clothing? Lip Service
21. Where would you retire to? dont know
22. Favorite day of the week? saturday
23. What did you do for your last birthday? umm nothing.. i went to keris hung out with friends.. it wasnt really a special birthday thing.. it was my close friends just being together.. in keris smoke filled room lol
24. Where were you born? New Brunswick hospitol
25. Favorite sport to watch? Soccer
26. What fabric detergent do you use? whatever is in the house
27. Coke or Pepsi? Coke
28. Are you a morning person or a night person? Night..
29. What is your shoe size? 7 1/2
30. Do you have any pets? no but i wanna get a puppy lol

b o d y - i l l s - a n d - s k i l l s
Do you bite your nails : no
Can you roll your tongue : not in the wave way
Can you raise one eyebrow at a time : no
Can you blow smoke rings : no
Can you blow spit bubbles : yeah
Can you cross your eyes : yeah
Do you make your bed daily : i dont really undo my bed.. its made and i take a blanket from another room and sleep with it now.
Which shoe goes on first : the skull one <3
What's sexiest on a guy : eyes and smile
What's sexiest on a girl : umm dont really know
Would you rather be on time and look okay or late and look great : fashionably late is ok
Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it : twirl..
How many boxes of cereal are in your cabinet : dont know but none that i actually like.

g r o o m i n g
How long do showers/baths last : 10 minutes.. body.. 15..hair
Hair drying method : put it up or blow dry... occationaly
Do you mumble to yourself : not mumble.. talk
Do you spit in public : occationaly

o t h e r
Person you talk most on the phone with : justin
What color is your bedroom : brown wood walls.. red bed... black furniture
Do you use an alarm clock : yeah
Have you ever skinny dipped with the opposite sex : no
Ever sunbathed in the nude : no
Window seat or aisle : window seat.. never been on a plane and not been next to the window
What's your sleeping position: using im in a ball or hugging what ever is next to me
What kind of bed do you like : umm bigger then mine with big blankets and a few pillows lol..
In hot weather do you use a blanket : yes.. i need the comfort no matter how hot it is
Do you snore : if my nose is stuffy
Do you sleep with a stuffed animal : usually or just my body pillow... stitch, teddy, or imposter simba
How about the light on : dont think so
Do you fall asleep with the tv or radio on : umm i keep tv on till i pass out and turn it off or i wake up and its on

w h e n - w a s - t h e - l a s t - t i m e - y o u
Watched Bambi : dont know
Talked on the phone (to whom): umm an hour ago with justin
Punched someone : umm never.. slapped robs arm yesterday lol

m u s i c - q u e s t i o n s
Is music important to you : most definitely.
Do you sing? : in my mind

d o - y o u - l i k e
Pop music : depends
Rock music : of course
Punk music : starting to
Hip-Hop/RB : alil
Reggae/Dub: no
Country : no
Jazz: alil
Classical : alil
New age: not really
Have you ever had a song written about you? no
What song makes you cry? last time i cried to a song was when i was listening to the descendent cd on the plane ride home from arizona
What song makes you happy? the decendents cd
What do you like to listen to before bed? anything

a p p e a r a n c e
HEIGHT: 5'2"
HAIR COLOR: dark brown
SKIN COLOR: white lol some say pale.. shut up im not that white
PIERCINGS: only ears so far
TATTOOS: coming shortly.. my charm bracelet

r i g h t - n o w
WHAT COLOR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING?: plaid pajama pants
WHAT SONG ARE YOU LISTENING TO?: no music

WHAT TASTE IS IN YOUR MOUTH?: bubble tape original ::chewing gum obviously::
WHAT'S THE WEATHER LIKE?: humid
HOW ARE YOU? decently sad yet relieved

d o - y o u
GET MOTION SICKNESS?: i feel sick but i dont get sick
HAVE A BAD HABIT?: biting my right indew finger occationaly
GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS? parent.. no

f a v o r i t e s
TV SHOW: dont know
CONDITIONER: whatever doesnt have the initials VB or MB on it which means i can use it
MAGAZINE: Revolver or Circus
POP: Dr. Pepper
THING TO DO ON THE WEEKEND: anything possible.
RAPPER: Lil Kim lol

h a v e - y o u
BROKEN THE LAW: somewhat
SNUCK OUT OF THE HOUSE: yes
MADE A PRANK PHONE CALL: i listen i cant do it.. ill crack up before i even talk
USED YOUR PARENTS' CREDIT CARD BEFORE: no
SKIPPED SCHOOL BEFORE: no
FELL ASLEEP IN THE SHOWER/BATH: no
LET A FRIEND CRY ON YOUR SHOULDER: yeah

l o v e
BOY/GIRLFRIEND: i really care about him.. so much
CHILDREN: dont have any
BEEN IN LOVE?: you can say that
HAD A HARD TIME GETTING OVER SOMEONE: a few people
BEEN HURT?: yeah.. who hasnt
GONE OUT WITH A SOMEONE YOU ONLY KNEW FOR A FEW DAYS: lol yeah 4 days to be exact

r a n d o m
DO YOU HAVE A JOB: yeah
YOUR CD PLAYER HAS IN IT RIGHT NOW: descendents
IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?: violet
WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?: being with justin
WHO MAKES YOU THE HAPPIEST?: justin , even if he is far away
WHAT'S THE NEXT CD YOU'RE GONNA GET?: Burning Brides

w h e n / w h a t - w a s - t h e - l a s t
TIME YOU CRIED?: an hour ago more or less
YOU GOT A REAL LETTER?: dont know
TIME YOU GOT E-MAIL: dont know
TV PROGRAM YOU WATCHED: batman

y o u r - t h o u g h t s - o n
ABORTION: pro choice
TEENAGE SMOKING: all up to you
SPICE GIRLS- lol who could ever forget them.

Sat, 28 Aug 2004 14:31:58 GMT

back home and nothing really changed.. more hatred found , understandable but other then that its been good.. tat rob and ross picked me up from the airport which was great suprise... ross and rob are sooo weird.. they hooked up stereo speakers from a cd player thing in thier house to the car and have it facing the inside of the car from the truck.. ghetto btu it does make it very very very very loud and can hurt the ears.. yeah hung out with ppl last night.. went to new milford carnival then BK then blockbuster then the park then drove juz home and went home.. 20 sumodd days till i can see justin..

caroline i still got those dots on me.. AHHH...thank you for the message too.<3

Fri, 27 Aug 2004 05:00:14 GMT

going home tomorrow... gonna miss caroline alot..gonna try to fix something...watch BASEketball, actually buy it so i can go back to watching it everyday lol..wont see justin till mid sept... gonna sleep and try to get back to jersey hours... god it 10 here and its like 1 in jersey... i think caroline went to bed.. not sure..lol gonna go find out...<3

course we graduated... cock... beer?

one saying you should know with this
oh a penny saved is a penny earned...dont eat cheese before noon
SHUT UP, how about a picture is worth a thousand words..
oh thats a good one.

i heard your sister is going out with SQUEAK!

vajorna... that wasnt a gay joke.. its australian

Wed, 25 Aug 2004 05:33:19 GMT

its obvious that i am not a good person.. i did the same shit to two different people and honestly never meant to.. but thats not an excuse.. i manipulated both and used both.. not purposely in the ways they think.. dont want sympathy, dont want forgivness because i cant even forgive myself.. its the truth..

frank i dont want to deal with your random shit anymore.. the only problems are between you and me so leave my friends alone because they are better people then you can ever possibly be.. i may be childish and immature and not best person in the world but at least i can admit it..whatever i dont want to deal with you anymore.. leave all the comments that you want .. say what you want but try and get some self happiness and forget about me and the shit i put you through because you know you can live on find much better and can move on from all this shit.. if people want to know the real me then they can find out on thier own.. i honestly dont think that they need you to explain it.. if your saving them the heartbreak then be their guardian and try to get them to understnad all the things your saying without experiance. if you hate me so much then just disregard all the things i've just said and just leave us alone. or something.

Wed, 25 Aug 2004 05:04:17 GMT

in zone.. having a blast.. missing everyone terribly.. expecially justin.. but things arent going the way i planned so ill be coming home friday night and robs picking me up from the airport then going home and doing whatever.. i just know i wont see justin for another week which really upset me.. i was looking forward to seeing hime when i come home but thats not oging ot happen..i cant blame him.. got shit to do wiht the apartment and other things.. not entirly sure what but ok.. i just miss him .got my hopes up. and now i must bring them back down...im going to gety my ass kicked for the roaming charges but they have only been after 7 and weekends so hopefully wont be so bad..

erg screw this i miss him soooooo much i just want him to be here.. he keeps telling me that he made my life miserable.. that things wouldnt have been so bad if i didnt meet him.. me and steve wouldnt be like this and i wouldnt have to be choosing between friends or whatever.. he doesnt understand how happy he has made me not miserable.. he keeps asking "why do you cry, its all because of me".. i dont know what to answer to that anymore.. he doesnt make me sad, or miserable.. its not his fault and just sometimes he wont believe me when i say that.. i just wihs he knew how much i cared about him and that he cant make me sad or miserable the way he thinks he does..im going to go down to visit him as soon as possible lol.. he keeps saying i should just show up and knock on the door lol.. wont happen...not until im either 18 or gonna go down with someone and have a weekend off from work...i miss him to death and its not his fault.

even being all the way in ZONA u wouldnt think that dram follows but of course it does.. jsut being away makes it less comprehendable.. not sure if i spelled that right..im gonna go back and things will be different ..honeslty scared about that..i miss everyone though..sometimes i want to call everyone and just make sure thier all still there for comfort lol.

conversing with people through journal comments isnt my idea of a great conversation.. i prefer face to face but ill take what i can get i guess...

Thu, 19 Aug 2004 21:54:24 GMT

had a great time last night.. being at melissas with everyone.. fun fun.. leaving for zona tomorrow morning with caroline.. its gonna be a long trip.. yay theres a movie though lol..ill be back the 27th hopefully with justin.. or jsut meet up later.. everyone enjoy yourselves..

Mon, 16 Aug 2004 17:19:32 GMT

yeah yesterday was quite interesting.. hung out with the best people in the world.. my friends.. and umm watched porn lol.. quite interesting.. well had work went to sanacore house and then baskin robins..then i went home early.. why cause im was tired lol work too freakin early in the morning and it was hard.. got yelled at alot there too.. DONT CUT IT LIKE THAT.. IM SORRY I WONT TAKE THAT, YOU MANHANDLED THE CHEESE.. snobs lol..well then got on the phone with justin.. he went to face to face concert and got into a fight.. what fun.. he said he enjoyed it lol.. we just talked the rest of the night and promised to take pix in AZ.. so yeah nothing new or important really.. except the whole caroline moving thing.. grr.. its wierd cause ill be leaving with her sorta and i dont know.. ill be crying on the plane ride home.. alone..well godda go get vlad then i dont know what.. callin people..

i thought that story would never be over.. but it is now.

<3<3

Fri, 13 Aug 2004 22:08:44 GMT

Name 3 habits you have:
1) biting my finger.. only right indew
2) too paranoid
3) coke... dr.pepper

Name four scents you love:
1) vanilla
2) boyfriends cologne
3) cotton blossom
4) my perfume.. lol its yummy

Name something you'd never wear:
1) white pants

Name 3 animals you like:
1) PUPPIES
2) snakes
3) monkies

Name four television shows you love:
1) most extreme elimination
2) crank yankers
3) twilight zone
4) er

Name 2 bands/genres/artists most people don't know you like:
1) LIL KIM lol
2) i dont know.. eric clapton

Name 3 drinks you regularly drink:
1) APPLE JUICE
2) dr. pepper
3) water

a random fact about yourself:
i can only enjoy something if some of the people around me are enjoying it too.. it kills me making someone do something they dont want to do.. i've prob only done it a few times but it hurt each time..

a random fact about your family:
no one from my moms friends even in the least bit like or approve of my dad

Have you ever...
1)Fallen for your Best Friend? yeah
2)Made out with JUST a friend? yeah
3)Been rejected or heartbroken? yeah
4)Been in love? in love?.. not sure anymore.. i loved and lost
5)Been in lust? def.
6)Used someone? we used each other
7)Been used? beneficial for both sides
8)Cheated on someone? once and i didnt even remember that i did
9)Been cheated on? yeah
10)Done something you regret? yeah

Who was the last person..
11)You touched? juz lol .. yesterday.. i dont touch my family.. in any way..
12)You talked to? umm caroline this morning
13)You hugged? fuck .. umm might have been steph yesterday
14)You instant messaged? paulo
15)You yelled at? my dad..telling me when we'll get food.. we might starve tonight juz lol
16)You laughed with? justin on the phone.. mike is funny lol
17)You had a crush on? jay
18)Who broke your heart? ex

Do you:
19)Colour your hair? yeah.. all too much
20)Have tattoos? hopefully shortly
21)Piercings? only my ears
22)Own a web cam? no
23)Have aol? yeah but dont really use it
24)What should you be doing right now? finishing cleaning my room so juz can have a place to sleep tonight lol
25)What are you listening to? the descendents
27)Chicken or fish? chicken
28)Do you have a favourite animal? puppies.. damn i dont wanna be allergic to them
29)Is ice cream the best thing in the world? one of the best yes.. expecially from darrin, fluffy, or josh lol.

1. What would your dream date be? already had it.. lol movie, zoo, ice cream, keris lol
2. Single flower or a dozen? one is so sweet.. why not something in the middle like 3 lol not really middle but you get the point
3. Silver, gold or platinum? silver..
4. Candle lit dinner in a restaurant or at home? home.. def.
6. Silly or serious romance? why not both
7. Do you consider yourself:
Romantic? not really.. maybe nice lol not romantic
Snotty? hopefully no
Quiet? lol more or less
Boring? some say yes.. some no
Funny? i try to bring laughter.. doesnt really work thou.. i laugh enough for everyone

Have you ever...
Dissected something? a piggie
Drank fluids? what
Kissed someone? yeah
Missed someone? missing hime terribly right now..
Told someone you love them? yeah
Talked to someone you have a crush on? yeah
What CD is in your CD player right now? the descendents

Q. Favourite song? Layla by Eric Clapton
Q. What is your shoe size? 7 or 7 1/2 or 8
Q. What will you be when you grow up? dont know.. wish i did though
Q. What are you doing right now? umm talking to paulo gr
Q. What's that smell? your butt

-2-

Using your current initials, choose a different name for yourself
Ashley Loric .. i dont know.. im mixing words together.

If you were born outside of your era, when would you want to be born and why?
no 50s so i can be older during the 60s.. i wanna be a hippie

If you ran a store, what would you sell/have?
lol lingerie

What part in a movie would you love to play?
i'd be behind the camera

In your opinion, why do people suck?
some people suck.. not everyone.. if they do.. they cant help it i guess

If you had your own state, what would you put on your new quarter? stars lol

What's your biggest guilty pleasure dealing with music?
i just love music.. puts anything in a certain mood

What's the oldest article of clothing you own?
my moms wedding dress

What piece of furniture have you replaced the most?
umm nothing recently .. i just switch my room arrangment around alot

What type of art do you think more people should support?
all art..

What instrument do you wish you could be more than great at?
drums and piano.. i used to do piano but my teacher made me cry so i quit

Record, Tape, or CD?
cd

What do you think would be the best concert ever? (max: 4 bands)
pantera, descendents, a perfect circle, my chemical romance

What do you think is the most over-rated candy ever?
m & ms.. i agree with the melon

If you were writing out your will, who would you give your CD collection to? umm whoever would take time to write out whats on all the mixes

If you could only debate two topics the rest of your life, what would they be?
i dont know.. i cant really fight well about anything

Out of your friends, who would you say you are most jealous of, artistically? all of them.. they have thier own way of showing it

Most jealous of... socially?
lol umm juz keri nikki mel caroline .. cause no matter how hard i try to get close to someone it doesnt work.. but i see them get close to those people in like one night

What do you collect?
books.. after i read them

What is broken that you have, that you wish was fixed?
my necklace

What do you do when you're home sick?
watch alot of tv and get food.. lol..

yeah stolen from the melon... fun fun... took some time of my day which is always good cause i had nothing better to do.. cause i still dont feel so well.. damn meds should work.. going to the movies anyway with juz so yeah..

<3